CORRESPONDENCErnLetter Fromrnthe Argentariornby Andrei NavrozovrnThe Princesses and the PearnThe sun is no longer the hot butteredrnpancake worshipped by the ancientrnSlavs: It has been reformed into an altogetherrnmore Christian, Lenten, and distantrnfigure. The sea is still beautiful,rnthough it too no longer moves with thernsame pagan frankness, its orgiastic,rnby turns manic and depressive, barometricallyrnmotivated summer feasts andrnfamines having given way to that reflectiverncoherence of cloistered life which arnweekend visitor, who has not personallyrnwitnessed the seasonal conversion, isrnlikely to misconstrue as stormy gloom.rnWlierever you look, royal aquamarinesrnand emeralds in the Argentario’s crownrnare being switched for Siberian jaspersrnand beryls, and despite the cheeringrnnews that the substitution cuts down therncost of being embosomed in some of thernmost expensive nature on the Tyrrhenianrncoast, all the terraces are now emptying,rnFilipino maids are handing in thernkeys, and even I am making inquiriesrnabout where to go next.rnFranco is working on it with all thernaplomb oi”Ci penso io” for which thernItalian service sector is justly famous.rnTliis is a combination of “I’ll see to it, justrnleave it to me, I have your interests inrnmind, everything will be taken care of,rnwe understand each other, I know justrnwhat you’re looking for, don’t you worryrnabout anything, I’ve got a friend, he has arncousin, they have an uncle” with the underlyingrnsense of “And if in the end Irnshould fail, we’ll have a good laughrnabout it, won’t we?” The hero of my lastrntwo letters from the Argentario, Francornlikes to play the quintessential southernrnnepotist while achieving his ends by hardrnwork, which he does in secret, and endlessrntelephoning. Some years back, Irnread an article about a Robin Hood of arnconfidence man who ran an elaboraternpyramid scheme for the benefit of thernvery people he was swindling all overrnAmerica, so that a free car would be procuredrnfor one client at the expense of another,rnboth clients having had to pay thernprice of a third client’s free pleasurerncruise. This side of madness and the law.rnFranco is the nearest equivalent of thatrnAmerican: He has just sent faxes detailingrnmy predicament to every real-estaternagent in Siena while telling me that he isrnwell acquainted with the citv” because hernused to visit a girl there with splendid, letrnus say, results.rnLast year, I made the mistake of tellingrnthe social grandees of Porto Ercole, whornwanted to know whither their charmingrnRussian acquaintance once the siroccornstarts, that I wanted to spend some timernin Rome or Florence, and that “Francornis working on it.” Franco? Ha-ha-ha,rnthey laughed bitterly, that fellow Francornhas a long arm, nobody can deny that,rnbut surely not as long as their own Romernor their cousins’ Florence. I’ee-hee-hee,rntinkled a young Count Cucciolini. Hoohoo-rnhoo, boomed a Duke Ognibrontolo.rnHo-ho-ho, hooted a Prince DottodeirnSettenani. Why don’t I speak to theirrncousin, or daughter’s friend, or daughter’srnfriend’s agent? That would be wise.rnBecause to rent a summer place, like allrnthose despicable film producers and glorifiedrngrocers who are jacking up pricesrnall over, a local fixer may be enough, butrnwhen it comes to residence in town,rnthank God one must still be presented tornsociety.rnI did speak to them, and the scenariornwas invariably the same. After a while, Irnbegan telling the grandees “Franco isrnworkiirg on i f just to get their goat, so hilariouslyrnindignant and flustered they becamernat the thought of his arm lengthening,rnlike the shadow of the specter that isrnhaunting Europe, to reach into their ancestralrndomain and pocket a fat commission.rnYes, I would insist with feignedrnbonhomie, Franco will find me a place,rnI’m sure. No, your friend’s cousin’srnhouse didn’t work out, because first of allrnshe is deaf, though not so deaf as to desistrnfrom bargaining, and secondly she saidrnshe didn’t want to move out because herrnmother’s things were in the house andrnshe couldn’t bear the thought of otherrnpeople touching them. But don’t worr-.rnFranco will find something sooner or later.rnHe says he is working on it.rnNo, that noble lady’s brother-in-law’srnfriend’s recommendation didn’t workrnout either. The place was too small andrnhad no terrace, though like all the apartmentsrnin the inescapable scenario, it wasrntucked into an amazing Roman palazzornoverlooking an architectural monumentrnof still greater antiquity. It was a brilliantrnmorning in early October, I stood by thernwindow admiring the view and said Irnwould take it, and no sooner were thernwords out of my mouth than the ownerrnraised the price we had agreed on byrnphone just the night before. In her mistaken,rnthough obviously not newly acquired,rnbelief that useless information isrna fair alternative to straight dealing, shernexplained to me that her ailing husband,rnwho had just left for the airport, beggedrnher, simply begged her, not to let anyone,rnnot even the charming Russian acquaintancernof her dear friend in PortornErcole, have the aparhnent for less.rnThat evening, I’m at the bar as usualrnfor an aperitif and a gossip with Franco.rn”Ah, pisellino,” he greets me, enjoyingrnmy customary uncertainty aboutrnwhether a little pea is quite as endearingrna thing to be called as the other littlernthing is offensive, “come andato?” Thernprincess tried to pull a fast one, I tell him.rn”Did you show the old bag you liked it?rnYou stood by the window and admiredrnthe view of some broken stones? Stillrngreater autiquit)’? Nothing is of greaterrnantiquity than la principessa, my friend!rnPisellino, what did I teach you?” He getsrnup from the table and begins to recite:rn”Al contadino” (here he always raises thernindex finger of his right hand) “non farrnsapere” (pause) “come e huono” (mischievousrntwinkle) “il cacio con le pere”rn(triumphant laughter). Wliich, in the didacticrnst)’le of another century, wc mayrnrender as follows:rnFrom farmer hide, lest he gets airs.rnHow excellent his cheese withrnpears.rnAnyway, for this, that, or another reasonrnit would by then be perfectly clear thatrnyet another Roman palazzo, or yet anotherrnvaulted gallery with frescoed wallsrnand a Jacuzzi, or yet another Fiesole vil-rn34/CHRONlCLESrnrnrn