VIEWSrnHabla Therapy?rnby Janet Scott BarlowrnInstruction #1: “Gather the following materials: a pair ofrnscissors, paste or glue to use on paper, and a piece of constructionrnpaper, lightweight cardboard, or a plain piece of paperrn(in that order or preference) at least 8″ x 10″ and no larger thanrn16″ X 20.” You will also need to gather two to five magazinesrn(preferably magazines with lots of different pictures). Fliprnthrough the pages and cut out any pictures, phrases, colors, images,rnsymbols, or anything else that reminds you of your childhood.rnWhen you feel you have enough material, paste the clippingsrnto your sheet of paper, so that they form a collage. [Now]rnwrite down how vou think any of these pictures, phrases or colorsrnmight have relevance to your current [marital] relationship.”rnInstruction #2: Make a list of the top five attributes yournwant in a spouse, “read your list aloud three times a day forrnthree days, then burn it. . .. Burning the list is significant, it releasesrnand transforms the energy [to] the Universe.”rnThe first instruction above, the psychological art project, wasrnwritten by Jay Gale, Ph.D. a “licensed psychologist,” in his andrnSheila Church’s book SO Days to a Happier Marriage. (Myrnguess is that it would take 15 days alone just to complete Dr.rnGale’s “collage.”) The second, the burning-list-as-smokingprayer,rncomes from Kalyn Wolf Gibbens, formerly a “make-uprnartist, body worker, and owner of a flotation tank center in Tucson,rnArizona,” currently a “lecturer, publisher, communityrnmember and world citizen.”rnQuestion; Your marriage is in trouble. You are worried, unhappy,rnpossibly desperate. Which of the above counselors dornJanet Scott Barlow writes from Cincinnati, Ohio.rnyou call—Dr. Cut-and-Paste, or Ms. Burning Love? Whosernadvice do you take?rnNow tell the truth: the very question makes you want to putrnyour head in the oven, doesn’t it? I hereby offer my own instructions,rndesigned like those above to help you toward yourrnheart’s desire, a happy marriage. Instruction #1: Turningrncounter-clockwise in a circle, pat your head while rubbing yourrnstomach. Instruction #2: Grow up.rnAlong with the steady rise in divorce rates (55 percent of firstrnmarriages and 63 percent of second marriages end in divorce),rnwe have witnessed in this country a parallel rise in the availabilityrnof all manner of therapy and marriage counseling, alongrnwith all manner of self-help marriage books. Supply, it wouldrnseem, is meeting demand. But no one ever asks if the supply isrntainted, if it is mismatched to the demand, if, in some perversernway, it actually feeds the problems that create the demand.rnInstead, we see a kind of societal panic, a willingness to tryrnjust about anything to bring America’s divorce epidemic—andrnthe misery that accompanies it—under control. Many churchesrnnow require betrothed couples to submit to extensive premaritalrncounseling, often demanding a specific engagementrnperiod, the taking of compatibility tests, and a nonnegotiablernnumber of sessions. The main focus of these sessions is, in thernwords of one minister, the examination of a couple’s “perceptionsrnand expectations of each other.” In other words, the principalrntopic of this pastoral counseling is not spirituality.rnAnd how well do these preemptive strikes against divorce—rnwhether inside or outside a religious context—actually work?rnThe bottom line: no one knows. “But,” says Michele Weiner-rnDavis, author of Divorce Busting, “it couldn’t hurt.”rn12/CHRONICLESrnrnrn