I probably meant to ask aroundrnabout you but forgot. You arernprobably right to think that I havernvery little spare time. What I dornhave I would rather spend withrnmy neglected friends than diningrnwith a stranger. You presumablyrnknow why you want to have arn”meal date” with me, but whatrncould be my reason?rnThere are much less awkwardrnways of making an acquaintancernthan challenging her sight unseenrnto a dinner. A whole evening inrnno company but yours? If yournwere charming enough to warrantrnthe expenditure of time andrnenergy, some Cambridge hostessrnwould have made the most of yournby now. Then you would be thernone with a full dance card.rnWhen 1 chanced across this gruesomerndocument, I thought to myself: thatrncouldn’t happen in America. No Americanrnprofessor could be so self-important,rnnone would leap at the chance torninsult a perfectly innocent friend ofrntimes past, and none would actuallyrnLIBERAL ARTSrnPOLYNESIAN P.C.rnPolitical correctness is alive and well inrnHawaii, as indicated by an article inrnthe Honolulu Advertiser last June. Itrnseems the deputy prosecutor there,rnMaurice Arrisgado, was sanctioned byrncircuit judge Marie Milks for “sexistrnand racist” remarks he made during arnmurder trial earlier this year. Milksrnapparently objected to Arrisgado’srnstatement that it was not unusual forrnthe defendant in this case to havernbeen driving in his underwear. Arrisgado,rnwho is half-Filipino, had saidrnin his closing argument, “What’s sornodd about that? It’s the Filipinornbathing suit Big deal.” Milks alsorncalled Arrisgado sexist for assuming arnfemale postal service worker was arnman: during jury selection he hadrnused the term “mailman” when referringrnto a female coworker of arnmember of the jury pool. Arrisgadornwas fined $125 for his offenses.rnwrite up and mail evidence of some grayrnmorning’s foul mood. Why bother?rnBut then I wondered—why not? Afterrnall, the academy thrives on hierarchy andrnlusts after occasions to show who’s who.rnWe live by selling prestige; education isrnonly our by-product. For instance, arnfriend of mine who is a highly accomplishedrnneurologist, head of all sorts ofrnmedical services in hospitals, told mernthat the one way he knows for sure he’srnreally first-rate is that he went to Harvardrn—40 years ago.rnBrown University made itself a hotrnschool by taking in discards, the stupidrnchildren of the glitzy; Harvard grabs thernsmart ones, the next go to Yale or Princeton.rnBut to send your kid to college withrnthe kid of someone you’ve heard of—rnthat’s worth the extra $15,000 a year thatrnBrown charges over the local state university.rnSo they make out like banditsrnwith an inexpensive, unaccomplishedrnfaculty. Education is not what it’s aboutrnwhen you pay $25,000 a year for whatrnyou could get for $10,000.rnLest my Harvard friend be thoughtrnexceptional, a Harvard freshman recentlyrnspent an evening telling me about thernfamous professors whose lectures she’drnattended. But when I asked her whatrnthey had taught her and what questionsrnshe’d asked them, she said that, at Harvard,rnthat’s not how it works. “Anyhow,rnwe’re the best.” So, I suppose, Cambridgernin England is not the only placernwhere people could write, “If you wererncharming enough…”rnThen again, I thought back to my yearrnat Princeton, where at the Institute forrnAdvanced Study I met lots of peoplernvery pleased with themselves for havingrnan office near Einstein’s. When I askedrnsome questions about what they’d recentlyrndone in their fields—social science,rnhistory, etc.—their paltry answersrnstimulated a little essay about why Franciscansrncan’t talk to birds. St. Francisrncould talk to birds but the Franciscansrncouldn’t, I argued, because you can’t institutionalizerngenius. That won me remarkablyrnfew friends at Princeton.rnWhen, early on at Princeton (before Irnwondered in print whether the emperorrnmight be a bit underdressed), I askedrnone of the permanent folk for supperrnwith some friends, his reply was, “Well,rnof course, no—I can’t . . .” followed byrnsome incomprehensible mumbling. Irnhadn’t been made the most of by somernPrinceton hostess. When a friend, anrnIAS member in astrophysics, asked a permanentrnIAS Professor X for lunch, thernlatter’s secretary replied, “Mr. X doesn’trnmake luncheon appointments withrnMembers of the Institute for AdvancedrnStudy, but if you see him at lunch, yourncan sit down at the table.” “Bow, bow,rnye lower middle classes, bow, bow, yerntradesmen and ye masses.”rnDon’t get me wrong. Both Cambridgesrnare marvelous places, becauserneach has a world-class library; andrnMadame “a whole evening in no companyrnbut yours” didn’t win any popularityrncontest at the English Cambridge.rnEveryone who saw her letter said, “Oh,rnher.” So she’s not going to win any electionsrnto office in her precinct, that’srnclear.rnAnd anyone fortunate enough tornspend some time at the Institute for AdvancedrnStudy or at Clare Hall, Cambridge,rnits English counterpart, whichrndoes everything right that is done wrongrnat Princeton, knows that those of us forrnwhom they invent research institutesrncome to daydream and think up problemsrnto solve—not to get invited byrnPrinceton or Cambridge hostesses. Theyrndon’t like our suits, we don’t like theirrnperfume—or their conversation. RayrnMonk, the biographer of Wittgenstein,rnsays about Professor Godel in his years atrnthe Institute for Advanced Study, “ThernPrinceton hostesses avoided him.” Theyrnprobably thought they’d ruined his life.rnMeanwhile, mathematics was reinvented,rnat IAS, by their outcast.rnThe point is, the academic worldrnthrives on snobbery. It glories in its honors,rnprizes, titles, ribbons, and strangernmedieval costumes. It thinks its controversiesrnare controversies and conducts bitterrndisputes over honor, prestige, or policyrn(who sits in which chair on whatrnafternoon). A great writer told me herndoesn’t accept honorary degrees—”Yournjust have to sit in the sun for a long afternoonrnwatching other people’s childrenrnget degrees in exchange for a piecernof rayon”—^but, then, he’s not a professor.rnOnly in the academy can someonernwrite, “You presumably know why yournwant to have a ‘meal date’ with me, butrnwhat could be my reason?” In the realrnworid, people don’t say things like that tornone another. They don’t need to. Here,rnin the academy, where the stakes are sornlow, people sink beneath contempt.rn]acob Neusner is Distinguished ResearchrnProfessor of Religious Studies at thernUniversity of South Florida.rn50/CHRONICLESrnrnrn