around. Before the New World Ordernhere in the United States we had thenNew Age, which was OK, but therenwasn’t enough order in it. That’s overnnow. Throughout history there werenmany attempts at New Order. Therenwas Hitler’s New Order, there wasnNixon’s Law & Order, there wasnNovus Ordo Seclorum — that we stillnhave, it’s on the dollar bill — and thenCommunist Boy Scouts’ Order & Discipline.nThe New World Order willnbring to millennial fruition the eternalncalls of schoolteachers for “order in thenclassroom,” and the heart-wrenchingncries of the world’s silent majorities forn”peace, quiet, and order.” The NewnWorld Order will be enforced, maintained,nand kept in the forefront of allnour activities by the world’s greatest,nbest, and most expensive techno-cop,nthe U.S. Military. President Bush in anspeech referring to the New WorldnOrder called the 20th century the 20thn”central” by mistake. But maybe itnwasn’t a mistake, but a reference to thenway the New World Order will dividenthe world into a number of “centrals.”nIn these centrals there will be order.nEveryone else gets sent to extraterrestrialnpenal colonies. The New WorldnOrder is related to “orderly behavior,”n”your order, sir,” “ordering before youngo out,” “we have our orders,” andn”order in the courtroom.” The NewnWorld Order will mean very specialnthings to every field of endeavor, areanof life, and geographical region. In myncase, for instance, it will mean “rhymenand reason,” and “clean living” inn”crime-free New Orleans.” As you cannsee, I’ve already started.n—Andrei CodrescunIN MOSCOW, several months ago, Intelephoned an American friend to confirmnan office appointment. Since Inwas going by taxi, I asked him hownmuch I ought to pay for the ride.nMoscow cabdrivers outside tourist hotelsnare no better or worse than those innother metropolises, but it always paysnto know from a local what a ride oughtnto cost. My American friend said thentrip from my hotel to his office was “anone-pack ride.”nWhat was that supposed to mean?nAnswer: one pack of Marlboros. AlthoughnI was a nonsmoker, I hadnloaded up for just such emergenciesnwith two cartons of Marlboros at thenKennedy Airport duty-free shop. Ifnyou are a foreigner, Soviet cabdriversntell you in advance: we don’t acceptnrubles, only hard currency and Madborosnor Kents. (Taxi-meters don’tnmean very much if the driver picks younup at a hotel entrance or sizes you upnas a foreigner.) A few days later I wentnto see my American friend at his home.nBefore departing, he advised me thatnthe trip to his apartment, a bit furthernout than his office, was “a two-packnride.”nIn fact during the rush hour innMoscow or Leningrad, when cabs arenotherwise unavailable, you are advisednto stand at the edge of the roadway andnwave a pack of Marlboros. Not onlynwill cabs appear out of nowhere butnprivate cars will stop and the driver willnask where you’re going. Even cabdriversnwith passengers already inside willnstop to ask your destination.nThese recollections surfaced as Inread a news report that the Sovietngovernment has asked the Philip MorrisnCo. and RJR Nabisco Inc. to supplyn34 billion cigarettes (that’s 1.7 billionnpacks) to Soviet smokers. Suddenly, itnstruck me that President Corbachevnhad come up with an ingenious way ofnproviding an acceptable currency withoutnwholly de-legitimizing the alreadynde-legitimized ruble while at the samentime meeting the sudden cigarettenshortage.n(At the Mezhdunarodnaya Hotel innMoscow where I was staying, there is ansign in one of the bars that says thatnpatrons are forbidden to bring alongntheir own liquor on pain of being finednthirty rubles. In parentheses there isnthe phrase “payment only in hardncurrency.”)nThe reason why U.S. cigarettes likenMarlboros, Kents, or Winstons are innsuch demand are several. One, theyntaste much better than Soviet cigarettes,nalthough not being a smoker Incan’t vouch for that. Second, Americanncigarettes are “kulturny,” classynbecause they’re American. Third, as ancurrency, their value is stable becausendemand never drops. Fourth, the packagencan be sold profitably if one sellsnone cigarette at a time. The blacknmarket price of a pack of Marlborosnwas reported by the Wall Street Journalnto be 20 rubles or $32, quite a markupnfrom the $1.60 duty-free per packnnnprice, but still a cheap taxi-ride.nThe cigarette-potato-bread-andeverythingnshortage reminded me ofnan old riddle they still tell in Moscow:nwhat would happen if the Soviet Unionnseized the Sahara Desert? Answer:nfor the first twenty-five years, nothing,nand then there would be a shortage ofnsand.n—Arnold BeichmannBISHOP SPONCS agitation for ffienordination of practicing homosexualsnreceived “moral” support last Februarynfrom the Special Task Force on HumannSexuality of the PresbyteriannChurch (U.S.A.). The Presbyterianncommission recommended the ordinationnof homosexuals as well as thenprovision of medical and pension benefitsnto same-sex couples, and theirnrecommendations will be submitted tonthe church’s 1991 General Assembly.nThis represents a further advance ofnthe radical proposals put forward by anstudy group that met earlier in Charlotte,nNorth Carolina. Although therenseems to be little doubt that this tasknforce is no more representative of thenconvictions of the majority of Presbyteriansnthan Spong’s views are of thosenof Episcopalians, their behavior makesnit plain that traditionalists will have anhard time blocking this recommendationnto legitimize conduct that manynwould consider evidence of moral degeneracy.nThe Presbyterian task force, ofncourse, is merely following the lead ofnSan Francisco and a number of otherncommunities that have legally recognizednso-called “domestic partnerships.”nAlthough the legislation coversna number of different situations, itsnprimary beneficiaries are homosexuals,nand its primary victims are traditionalnfamily values. Following the first groupnof “domestic partners” to be registerednin San Francisco, an “interdenominationalnworship service” celebrated thisntravesty of Christian marriage.nIf we distill all the “wisdom” thatnseems to be embodied in abortionnrights (“freedom of choice”), “gay”nrights, “no-fault” divorce, and the like,nwe might conclude that the ideal “lifestyle”nfor males would be monasticncelibacy (no children, no wife, and ofncourse no sexually transmitted diseases,nincluding AIDS), and for women,nMAY 1991/7n