“liberators.” This did not happen. Instead,nthe Iranians reacted violently andnthe result was a war that dragged on forneight years and cost one million lives.nThis “frightful misunderstanding,” asnMarenches put it, was essentially due tonthe fact that the head of the Iraqi secretnintelligence services was no longernSadoun Shaker (“an exceptional . . .nyoung man, attractive, intelligent, andnfriendly”) but Saddam Hussein’s halfbrother,nBarzan Ibrahim el Takriti, whonlacked the subtle flair and requisitenabilities for this kind of often thanklessnwork. Thankless because, among othernthings, intelligence gathering and analysisncall for sober truthfulness and a totalnavoidance of flattery, that bane of “authoritariannregimes. If the big bossnmakes a mistake, the consequences arenincalculable.”nSaddam Hussein’s decision to invadenand to annex Kuwait — that MontenCario of the Persian Gulf—was cleariynthe second mistake of its kind, again duento faulty intelligence, not only as regardsnthe reaction of the Kuwaitis but evennmore as regards the probable reactionsnof the United States. It is indeed soberingnto be reminded that, in this age ofnspy satellites that are able to pick out antennis ball from an altitude of milesnabove Earth, momentous moves canndepend on motivations that cannot benphotographed or even anticipated withnany degree of certainty.nThe present crisis has also broughtnhome another bitter truth: that Europen(again in Marenches’ words), thoughn”physically a giant, is a political dwarfnwhose castrato voice is barely heard.”nWhen the crunch came, no Europeanncountry was able to respond rapidly to anvital challenge to its interests with anyntruly effective show of force. No matternwhat happens during the comingnmonths and years, this is a glaringnweakness that will have to be remedied.nAlthough few Gaullists today wouldnbe willing to admit it, this is the pricenthat France must now pay for thengeneral’s force de frappe. The cost ofndeveloping nuclear weapons, alongnwith the silos and submarines fornlaunching them, proved too expensivenfor France also to maintain a largennumber of highly mobile ground forcesnfor rapid deployment overseas.nIn December 1959, when the questionnof a French atomic bomb firstncame up for discussion at a cabinetnmeeting in the Elysee Palace, one ofnFrance’s canniest politicians, AntoinenPinay, who was then minister of finance,nargued against the constructionnof a French nuclear bomb on thengrounds that even if France could do it,nall that would prove was that thenFrench had produced a bomb “that isntwenty years behind those produced innthe United States.” Within the frameworknof the Aflantic Alliance a Frenchnnuclear arms effort would be wastefullynredundant, Pinay held, and would entailnthe sacrifice of France’s conventionalnmilitary forces.nFor reasons of international prestigenDe Gaulle chose to disregard his financenminister and to press ahead withna totally independent force de frappe.nPerhaps this was inevitable, givennFrance’s, and not least of all DenGaulle’s, wartime humiliations. Butnevents are now claiming their implacablentribute. And it is indeed a cruelnirony that, having spent so much moneynon developing an atomic strike forcenthat has never been and probably nevernwill be used, France, in trying to defendnits interests in the Middle East,nnow finds itself more than ever in thenposition of a “satellite” and poor relation,ndependent militarily on the BignBrother from across the sea.nHistorian and biographer Curtis Catenhas hved in Paris for the past thirtynyears.nLetter From thenLower Rightnby John Shelton ReednBlazing Melons andnParmley’s Law (Rated R)nThat’s right. Parental discretion advised.nIt’s hard to write about 20th-centurynculture in terms suitable for innocentnears.nThe other evening, some of us werensitting around the living room watchingnBlaze, the movie in which Paul Newmannportrays Governor Ead Long ofnLouisiana. (If you haven’t seen thisngood-humored adaptation of strippernBlaze Starr’s account of her love affairnwith the governor, you might want tonnnhotfoot it down to your video rentalnstore and check it out. It has a lot tonoffer, including some new uses fornwatermelon.) I was surprised to discovernthat some of the younger folks in thenroom assumed we were watching fiction.nSic transit gloria Earl. Actually,nthe movie stays pretty close to thenhistorical facts, although in a few instancesnit conflates Earl with his brothernHuey, and it borrows at least onengood line from the stump speeches ofnGeorgia’s Gene Talmadge. (The originalnwent, approximately: “You’ve gotnthree friends in this world, and don’tnyou forget it. You’ve got the GoodnLord. You’ve got Sears and Roebuck.nAnd you’ve got Eugene Herman Tallmadgenfrom Sugar Greek, Georgia.”)nAnyway, the movie’s mostly true,neven when not accurate, if you takenthat distinction. My principal reservationnis that the star is too good-looking.nEarl wasn’t a toad, exactiy, but he wasnno Paul Newman. On the other hand,nI remember Blaze Starr from my misspentncollege youth, and she really wasna knockout. It turns out she’s stillnpracticing her art thirty years later: sheneven appears briefly in a dressing-roomnscene in this film.nEarl’s downfall wasn’t entirely duento his having taken up with a stripper.nThis was Louisiana, after all, where anmajority of white folks just voted for antax-evading sex-manual author whonhas been known to celebrate Hitler’snbirthday. But, at the margin. Earl’s lovenlife probably didn’t help his career. Wenmay have here another instance of thenlaw first formulated by my buddynParmley. Paraphrased for a familynmagazine, Parmley’s Law states thatnbimbos corrupt. (Absolute bimbos, ofncourse, corrupt absolutely — and don’tngive me any grief about “sexism,” OK?nSurely this observation reflects lessncredit on the male of the species thannthe female. So just can it.)nParmley’s Law applies outside thenSouth, too. Ask Gary Hart (although,ncome to think of it. Miss Rice was annhonors graduate of the University ofnSouth Garolina). But Southerners mayndo this kind of thing more flamboyantly,nperhaps because we still believe innsin. As well be hanged for a sheep as anlamb, or something like that. Anyway,nabout the time I’m ready to concludenthat they don’t make ’em like EarlnLong any more, something amusingnJANUARY 1991/47n