And yield to the lustful partnof their senses . . .nAnd on it goes, as merciless in itsnwarning to prom-bound Adair Countynyouth as some ancient mountain ballad.nHave fun, kids.nOccasionally an Adair Countiannmakes news that is too big to be containednin the Statesman. Such is thencase of Oconal Tucker, whose storynmade it all the way to a ByronnCrawford column in The LouisvillenCourier-Journal. It seems that Mr.nTucker, tired of “laying on the groundnand getting so stiff! couldn’t hardly getnup,” decided to “build me something Incan flop back on.” That something wasna hammock fashioned from a rollawaynbed, which Mr. Tucker suspendednfrom log chains “between a youngnwater maple and a box elder” right innhis front yard. So pleased was Mr.nTucker with this arrangement that hentopped it off with a canopy roof (“completenwith gutter and downspout”),nthen outfitted the place with “a television,nfan, overhead radio, water hose,nand rearview mirror,” as well as anninsulated cooler. (Having personallynseen Mr. Tucker’s rest area, I think it isnsomehow relevant to note that a largenbullwhip also resides among his conveniences.)nWhen Mr. Tucker is not “asleep ornfishing,” he lies in his hammock,nwatching television and enjoying a coldndrink. And when Mr. Tucker tires ofnTV, he entertains himself by “sprayingnpassing dogs with the garden hose” atnhis side. Mr. Tucker says that all wouldnbe perfection were it not for the irritantsnof honking car horns and lowflyingnbirds.nWhat this story proves (beyond thenlesson that even the simple need to flopnback can inspire the can-do spirit) is, Inthink, the same thing the Adair CountynNews-Statesman proves with everynissue: small events can make interestingnnews. At the very least, they cannmake for memorable news. My onlynrecollection of the responses of mynfellow citizens to USA Today’s questionnabout the death penalty for drugrelatednmurders is that some were for itnand some were against it. But I remembernprecisely Ores Ferguson’s perfecflynreasoned reply to the Statesman’snquestion about “this cool weathernwe’re having.” “I like it very much,”n56/CHRONICLESnsaid Mr. Ferguson, “because I don’tnget so hot or sweat so much.” Nondoubt Oconal Tucker, if he is awake,nwould agree.nJanet Scott Barlow covers popularnculture from her home in Cincinnati.nBUSINESSnThe Restructuringnof Americanby Thomas L. MamrnosernRestructuring: that’s one way thenrecent wave of take-overs, breakups,nand buyouts of major US corporationsnhas been described.nOthers see it in more pejorativenterms. “Violating the rules of prudence”nsaid a Wall Street Journal editorial.n”The buyout bomb,” The NewnYork Times called it. “When everything’snfor sale, you lose something,” isnthe way Harold Geneen, former chairmannof the huge conglomerate, ITT,nputs it.nEven the lawyers, who sometimesnpocket fees running into the millions ofndollars from these transactions, are gettingnnervous. Martin Lipton, one ofnthe best (and richest; he’s the father ofn”poison pills” designed to thwart takeovers),nwrote to his clients in October:n”Our nation is blindly rushing to thenprecipice. As with tulip bulbs. SouthnSea bubbles, pyramid investmentntrusts, Florida land, REITs, LDCnloans, Texas banks, and all the othernmarket frenzies of the past, the denouementnwill be a crash.nnn”We and our children will pay angigantic price for allowing abusive takeoverntactics and boot-strap, junk-bondntakeovers. . . . While the rest of thenindustrialized world is investing for thenfuture, we are squandering our assetsnin a speculative binge of junk bonds,nfinancial futures, program trading, putnand call options and the other games ofntoday’s financial market casinos.”nSome of the most famous names innAmerica are involved. Sears, Roebuck,nPillsbury, Kraft, Woolworth. Thenamount of money boggles the mind.nPhilip Morris antes up $13.5 billionnfor Kraft, a company with sales of anmere $9 billion. KKR (Kohlberg,nKravis & Roberts, the undisputednbuyout kings) gobbles up RJR Nabisconfor a whopping $25 billion, leavingnRJR Nabisco with more debt than thencombined national debt of Bolivia, Jamaica,nUruguay, Costa Rica, andnHonduras.nThe threat of takeover has even putnthe world’s tallest building — the SearsnTower — on the block, with the expectedn$1 billion in proceeds destined tonhelp Sears’ restructuring.nWhat kind of a guy, by the way, isnHenry Kravis, forty-four-year-old potentatenof the buyout game? Interviewednat length by Fortune after thenbloody RJR Nabisco deal, we learnnthat he is not “greedy.” “Greed reallynturns me off,” claims King Henry. “Tonme, money means security.” Henry’snpretty secure, by the way, with annestimated $50 million in yearly incomenfrom takeover fees.nKravis prefers to consider himselfn”fortunate,” and according to Fortunenhe “redistributes” his excess income tonhospitals, education, and “the fightnagainst AIDS.” (No mention wasnmade about outplacement counselingnfor the thousands who lose their jobs innthese buyouts.)nAs for KKR itself, it is now thensecond largest conglomerate in the US,nonly slighfly behind General Electricnin annual revenues. The company’snpowerful duo controls a total of $40nbillion, enough to buy out all thenFortune 500 companies headquarterednin Minneapolis.nKKR and its like have put a lot ofncompanies in play . . . and out of play,nover the past several years. From 1985nto 1987 the value of mergers andnacquisitions in the US exceeded $520n