52 / CHRONICLESnsomething like that—or this splendidnstory, sent my way by Laurie Hibbettnof Nashville (whom regular readersnwill recall as a runner-up in our “PoeticnGems” competition of a whilenback).nSeems there was something of anparking problem last June in EstillnSprings, Tennessee. It was caused bynseveral thousand people who came tonsee the face of Jesus revealed on thenside of a General Electric deep-freezenlocated on the front deck of Luthernand Arlene Gardner’s mobile home.nWhat local journalists took to callingn”Jesus-on-a-freezer” appeared eachnnight when the Gardners’ neighbornturned on his porch light, until saidnneighbor tired of devotees droppingnfilm wrappers in his yard and removednthe light. At last report, the Gardnersnwere thinking about moving theirnhome and their freezer to a new locationnand setting up their own light.n(And people thought FlannerynO’Connor made this stuff up.)nThe Estill Springs apparition naturallynoccasioned jeers from secular humanists,nof which even Middle Tennesseenhas a few. According to thenNashville Tennessean, one AudreynCampbell performed her song ‘TorchnLight Jesus” to laughter and applausenat the Unitarian Universalist FirstnChurch of Nashville. “Some peoplenget the Shroud of Turin and some get anfreezer,” she explained. “You make donwith what you’ve got.” Ms. Campbellnreportedly hoped to sign a recordingncontract.nTennessean news editor Dolph Honickernpoked fun, too. He claimed thenface was that of either Willie Nelson ornthe Ayatollah Khomeini, and said hencould also make out a large, slantedncapital-letter N and the letters v r y or vnk y—in either case, he admitted, anmessage that was Greek to him. ButnHonicker had the grace to observe thatnthe Gardners were behaving admirably.nAt a time when everybody fromnJim Bakker to a Unitarian folksinger isnfiguring how to make a buck off ofnsimple faith, all the Gardners wantednwas to share freely what they believednthey had been given. No parking fees,nor lemonade stand, or tee-shirts—justnan invitation to come and marvel atnthis marvelous thing.nAnd, as Mrs. Hibbett wrote, “Therenis an awful sincerity about the ladynwho owns the freezer that makes itnseem sinful to ridicule this small claimnto fame, perhaps the nearest thing tonachievement she’s ever had. We BiblenBelters—and I do not use the phrasenpejoratively—have a certain zaninessnthat goes with the territory. She’s nearernto me religiously than a whole heapnof seminarians wining and cheesing upnthere at [the Episcopal seminary at]nSewanee.”nLuther Gardner, told of Ms. Campbell’snsong about his freezer, said simply:n”This is something from God. It’snnot something for people to make funnof I’m sorry. It’s just not the rightnthing to do.” He’s right, of course—atnleast about our snottiness.nAnd just think: if God really didnmanifest Himself on a major appliance—well,nlet’s just say that Henhas a puckish sense of humor I hadn’tnsuspected, and He isn’t making it easynfor us smart alecks.nDespite writing this column fornChronicles every month, ]ohn SheltonnReed was recently elected presidentnof the Southern SociologicalnSociety.nLetter From thenHeartlandnby Jane GreernIt’s 10 A.M. on a School Day—DonYou Know Who Has Your Child?nAmericans generally agree that ournpublic schools are not what theynshould be, but the strongest resistancento improvement comes from the jokesnsome people refer to as “teachers’ unions.”nTake the strange ease of a Minneapolisnnonprofit corporation. PublicnSchool Incentives (PSI), which hasnproposed some interesting measuresnfor public schools. PSFs founder, TednKolderie, says that one of our biggestnproblems is that we don’t give teachersnany motivation to excel: no money andnno appreciable amount of autonomy.nIn old-fashioned free-enterprise termsn(and the brevity necessary here doesn’tndo justice to the ideas), he suggests thatnwe allow teachers to operate as thenprofessionals we expect them to be, asnnnfree agents in what he calls “privatenpractice,” who contract with variousnschools (rather than working for onenschool) and have control over curriculum,nmethods, and aids, colleaguesnand compensation.nHe’d also like to see students andntheir parents have the chance tonchoose among public schools andnschool districts, a luxury now availablenonlv to people with money. Undernsuch a system, “Every school will becomena school of choice,” Kolderienwrites in a public memo. “Withnchoice among schools there can benmore coherence within schools.nSchools will be more responsive. Andnparents and students will begin tonshare with the schools the responsibilitynfor performance.”nUnder his proposed system, anschool — and the teachers in it,nindividually—will be “at risk as tonperformance.” If the school is bad,nparents can easily move their kids to andifferent one. And if enough dissatisfiednparents take their kids out of Mr.nJones’s French class, Jones-the-freeagent’snsalary will decrease proportionately,nand he’ll either improve or quitnteaching. Teachers’ salaries, undernPSI’s plan, would be determined bynclass size (reflecting the quality of theirnteaching) and by their use of time andnmaterials budgets.nRuth Anne Olson, a self-employedneducational evaluator and program designernwho had been working withnPSI, started her own business last year.nPrivate Practice Advisors has, for example,nhelped interested teachers developna contract with the Shrine Hospitalnin Minneapolis, teaching kids inngrades K-12 who are long-term patientsnthere and whom the local schoolnsystem could not or would not take on.nOther private-practice programs arenbeing designed or are already in operationnin Minnesota and Wisconsinnclassrooms.nBut the most daring program Olsonnis working with may be the one innNorth Branch, Minnesota, where superintendentnof schools Jim Walkernproposed in the summer of 1985 thatntwo fourth-grade teachers be responsiblenfor teaching 90 children. Theynwould receive the same budget asnusual, would have to comply with allnthe district’s curricular and instructionalnpolicies, and would be evaluat-n