8/CHRONICLESnPERSPECTIVEnPARADISE ENOW: A MIDWESTERNnPERSPECTIVE by Jane GreernThis is not an invitation. Frankly, if you don’t live herenalready, most of us would rather you stay where younare, although we can’t blame you for wanting to come. Oh,nsome of our businessmen and bankers and ministers andnmayors and tourism promoters might, in the prejudicialnatmosphere of their workplaces, look down and mutternsomething about growth being good for everyone, butnreally, when we’re home reading the paper or mowing thenlawn, we like things here the way they are.nStill, just where—and what—is “here”? Do we draw thenline at Nebraska or halfway through Wyoming? At Iowa orndeep into Missouri? (My aunts and cousins still live in thenlittle Iowa-Mississippi River town where I was born, anbicycle ride from Missouri, and have a suspicious-soundingntwang in their voices. The first- and second-generationnGerman-Americans in North Country, where I live now,ntell me I still have a vestige of that same twang; they laughnnervously when they say it.) Does the Midwest go as far eastnas Ohio? Do cows really give better milk on Central Time?nAnd what if we solved the question of the Midwest’snJane Greer edits Plains Poetry Journal.nnngeographical boundary and built a Great Wall (or maybe an”Durum Curtain”) high and wide enough to keep outneveryone who heard about us and wanted in; What would itnmean to live Inside? What is this place with the greatncolleges and college football teams (and the best wheat,nbeef, and corn in the world) but with otherwise fewnattractions for outianders?nWell, as Oedipus said to the Sphinx, that’s a goodnquestion. Because the Midwest is like a warm spot in a coldnpond: You know when you’re in it and when you’re not, butncan’t exactly say when you start knowing—or what thatnwarm spot’s made of The things most foreigners (from, say,nDallas or Schenectady) think about the Midwest may ornmay not be true. Are Midwesterners conservative? Notnwhen you look at their congressmen’s voting records, or atnthose who recently have nearly made it to the Oval Ofirce:nMcGovern of (where?) South Dakota, Mondale and Humphreyn(may he be resting easily) of Minnesota. And notnwhen you ask most farmers about farm aid.nOn the other hand, there are the radio talk shows airingnopinions in support of home schooling and against taxationnof any kind and vehementiy in favor of total submersionnrather than mere sprinkling. Are Midwesterners mostlynDemocrats or Republicans? Hard to say. Democrats hold anslight edge in Senators and Congressmen from the region,ntwo years from now it may all be different.nWhat about the huge ethnic enclaves in the Midwest,ncomprised mainly of Europeans and Norwegians? Well,nsure; but New York and L.A. have a few thoroughlyassimilated-but-ethnically-consciousngroups, too, as doesnthe rest of the country; and we have our share of newlynarrived Cambodians and Pakistanis and Mexicans. ThenMidwest seems to have more than its fair share of countrywesternnand religious radio stations (it’s not the religion onnthe latter I mind, it’s what passes for music), but so do thenSouth and the Southwest. A relatively large proportion ofnMidwestern citizens live elsewhere than in large cities,nmostly because there are few large cities here—but I, fornone, wouldn’t last a week on a farm, and I’m sure there arenthousands like me. Our speech has been oft-described asn”Hat,” most recentiy in the New York Times Book Review bynRobert Bly, a Minnesota poet who ought to know—butnmany of us here feel the same way about the broad accentsnof a certain senator from Massachusetts. There’s the Midwesternnwork ethic, which, to their credit, the New En-n