In regard to the recent controversy over illegal immigration, allow me to offer a few liberal proposals. The problem could be easily and immediately solved by putting all illegal aliens to work constructing a wall across the entire southern border. (They make up 25 percent of the construction industry, anyway.) And, at below minimum wages,...
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May 1, 2001April 21, 2022Cultural Revolutions
Welcome to Holyland
God is back! And He has His own amusement park right here in Florida—you know, home of Disneyland, Universal Studios, and Seaworld. Welcome to Holyland! Complete with a replica of Jesus’s tomb, a bookstore and gift shop appropriately called “The Old Scroll,” a legion of actors in biblical-era costume (including armored Roman soldiers) detailing the...
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December 1, 2000April 21, 2022Cultural Revolutions
Human Pesticide
RU-486 is, by now, probably neatly stacked on pharmacy shelves across the fruited plain, right next to the Raid and Ritalin, ready for every woman who needs a quick “final solution,” with or without parental consent—or that of us knuckle-dragging sperm donors. It’s legal now, and, of course, that means it’s ethical, too. Not like...
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May 1, 2000April 21, 2022Correspondence
Driving Dixie Down
Did I make a wrong turn? Did I go too far north? No, I was still in beautiful Port Pierce, Florida. What shocked me into thinking I had accidentally wound up in South Carolina was a flag: two red bars diagonally crossing a solid white background, suspiciously resembling the dreaded Confederate Cross. There it was,...
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August 1, 1998April 21, 2022Cultural Revolutions
Only Suitable for Bumper Stickers
“Choose life” does not “foster choice,” or so said Florida Governor Lawton Chiles when he vetoed the manufacturing of license plates with this pro-life message. Was it the smiling faces on the license plate he didn’t like? The bright colors? More likely, he just didn’t want to offend anyone. Apparently, the ol’ he-coon was disappointed...