his stripes simply by declaring himself arndisciple of global democracy.rnAll postcommunist countries, includingrnCroatia, committed a fatal error inrn1991: They did not immediately undertakernthe radical process of decommunizationrnand re-education. But they alsorndid not examine the essence of the onlyrnforceful alternative at hand: Western liberalism.rnTomislav Sunk writes from Croatia. Hisrnmost recent book is Cool Croatia (VineyardrnBooks).rnLetter From Englandrnby Christie DaviesrnThe English Rejoice atrnScotland’s ComingrnIndependencernEveryone in Britain knows that it is just arnmatter of time before Scotland becomesrnindependent and reverts to medievalrnchaos. The English Labour Party’s planrnof establishing a devolved but subordinaternparliament in Edinburgh to be dominatedrnforever by inept Labour MPs recruitedrnfrom the decaying slums ofrnGlasgow has failed. The secessionistrnScottish National Party will clearly win arnlarge majority in the new local Scottishrnlegislature at the next election, and therntartan wings of the three English partiesrn—Labour, Liberal, and Conservativern—will be destroyed. Labour cannotrneven depend on the votes of its traditionalrnethnic minority supporters, the Hiberniansrnand the Muslims. Scottish secessionrnis certain, either after a series of Quebec-rnstyle salami referenda or through arnunilateral declaration of independencernby an inebriated Edinburgh legislature.rnAmericans may believe that the Englishrnwill be distressed at losing Scotiandrnin the same way they still regret losing thernUnited States; on the contrary, this isrnwonderful news. The current Englishrnsubsidy to Scotiand probably costs eachrnindividual English taxpayer more thanrnthe vast subsidies they hand out to Europeanrnpeasants through the Europeanrnllnion’s Common Agricultural Policy.rnWhen Scotiand goes, not only will thernEnglish lose an uncouth neighbor, butrnevery taxpayer will be many pounds arnweek better off. Wiat is more, Englandrnneed never again face the menace of a socialisticrngovernment, for the Labour Partyrnhas won a ma)orit- of purely Englishrnseats only twice this century. Socialismrnhas been a Scottish tyranny thrust uponrnEngland. The English will not even losernaccess to Scotiand’s only two worthwhilernassets, its oil and its vhiskey, for thernOrkney and Shetiand islanders who havernthe oil and tiie best whiskev will want tornremain part of England rather than be exploitedrnonce again b- rapacious Scots.rn(The islanders still call Scotiand the landrnof “bad grain and greedy ministers.”)rnThe depth of Edinburgh’s ignorance ofrnthe Orkneys can be seen in the ScottishrnOffice’s decision to subsidize the use ofrnGaelic in the islands, even though theirrnoriginal language was Norwegian. Forrnthe Scottish bureaucrats in Edinburgh,rnone distant island looks much like anotiier;rnthe decent, quiet, peaceful folk ofrnViking descent in Orkney get confusedrnwith the tartan-wrapped, predestinarian.rnSabbath-obsessed trolls of the GaelicspeakingrnWestern Isles.rnWhen Scotiand secedes, the Englishrnwill move fast to ensure that the Scots departrnwith a proper dowry. Eirst, they willrninsist that conflict-ridden Northern Irelandrnis a Scottish responsibility. Most ofrnthe Protestant majority in Ulster emigratedrnthere in the 17th centun,’ from the selfgoverningrnkingdom of Scotland, which isrnonly 12 miles away from Northern Ireland’srnCounty Antrim by sea. Every year,rnhuge contingents of tough PresbyterianrnOrangemen arrive in Ulster from Glasgowrnfor the annual sectarian marchesrnwearing tartan bonnets and waving Scotland’srnflag, the white on blue diagonalrncross of Saint Andrew, the canny Calvinistrnsaint who discovered the wee laddiernwith the loaves and fishes. Northern Irelandrnis Scotland’s problem, not Eaigland’s.rnThe other part of Britain that rightlyrnbelongs to Scotiand is tiie region knownrnas Geordylandia, the old NortheastrnMarch of England consisting ofrnDurham, Middlesborough, and Newcastie,rnthe southern half of the ancient Anglo-rnSaxon kingdom of Northumbria,rnwhich once stretched all the way fromrnNorthern England to Edinburgh and beyond.rnIt is perhaps best known to Americansrnas the home of the syndicated cartoon-rnstrip character Andy Gapp. Therernare no differences in ancestry, speech, orrndrinking habits between tiie inhabitantsrnof Northeast England and the LowlandrnScots. The Scottish annexation of NortiieastrnEngland would rid the English of yetrnanother subsidy-gouging, economicallyrnand socially moribund region with a historyrnof municipal corruption that rivalsrnScotland’s. They deserve each other.rnThe Scots can hardly refuse this expensiverngift, for all the great Scottish militar)’rndefeats by English armies have been thernresult of incompetent Scottish attemptsrnto seize this domain. The English willrnnow extend to the Scots the generositA’rnthey have always shown to other tiny, defeated,rnbigoted peoples and hand overrnthe disputed territory, just as they didrnSouth Africa to the Boers after the BoerrnWar.rnThe final gift England will bestow uponrnthe Scots is to veto any future attemptrnon their part to join the European Union.rnThe Scots deserve to be a truly free nationrnand to stay oittside Europe. Exclusionrnwill be good for the Scottish character.rnIt will force the Scots to rekindlerntiieir economy by tiieir own efforts rattierrnthan by wallowing in eurosubsidies as Irelandrnhas done, which has caused the suddenrnand unexpected collapse of Irishrnmoral standards. Merely to slide from livingrnon handouts from London to livingrnon handouts irom Brussels would preventrnthe Scots from developing the sternerrnvirtues so needed and so lacking inrntheir previous histor}’, in which a belief inrnpredestination has led to an amoral antinomianism.rnAmericans will not be surprised tornlearn that we English are already hard atrnwork eliminating all traces of the Scotsrnfrom our history and culture. In particular,rnwe are erasing all memory of the oppressivernScottish Stuart dynasty, the onernthat drove the Pilgrims into exile, fromrnour history books and are considering revertingrnto tiie old royal coat of arms ofrnElizabeth the Eirst, the Virgin Queen ofrnVirginia. The English lion, which hasrnlong fought the Scottish unicorn for therncrown, has finally driven it out of town.rnAll traces of kilts, tartan, bagpipes, andrnother Scottish paraphernalia are beingrneradicated from the new purified realmrnof England. Tartan-wearing Americanrnpreppies should adjust their dress beforerntiieir next visit to London.rnChristie Davies is a professor in thernFaculty of Letters at the University ofrnReading in England.rn42/CHRONlCLESrnrnrn