Jackson, and Americans don’t mind.rnThe’ may say they do; they may evenrnthink they do; bnt their actions speakrnlouder than their words. Bih Chntonrncould have awarded the PresidentialrnMedal of Freedom to the Prince of Lies,rnand he would still have left office with arn70-percent approval rating. (Come tornthink of it, he did award the medal to thernReverend Jackson.)rnSo why do local Republicans continuernto believe that the only way Mayors Mc-rnNamara and Box could have won powerrnwas by stealing elections? The trouble isrnnot that they can’t see the forest for therntrees, but that they mistake one tiny leafrnfor the whole of human existence. Yes,rnmany who desire power are corrupt; yes,rnsometimes they break the law to achieverntheir ends; but often, they don’t have to.rnWhy overthrow governments, stuff ballotrnboxes, or manipulate counting machinesrnwhen you can achieve your ends simplyrnby saying what the people think theyrnwant to hear, while doing what the peoplernactually want done?rnAt the end of George W. Bush’s four orrneight years as President, Roe v. Wade willrnstill be the law of the land, more statesrnwill have recognized homosexual “marriages,”rnmore American businesses willrnhave moved overseas, more women andrnhomosexuals will have joined the military,rnmore Americans will have diedrnwhile killing innocent civilians in countriesrnwe have no business attacking, multiculturalismrnand bilingualism will havernincreased their hold on American educationrn(remember, Pater’s Departnrent ofrnEducation first dreamed up Goals 2000),rnand immigration—both illegal and legalrn—will have increased. And here inrnRockford, no matter which party wins thernnext mayoral election, Rockford Blacktoprnwill still pave our streets, Sunil Purirnwill still level farmland and forests to putrnup strip malls and vinyl-sided ranches,rnand “Dr.” Richard Ragsdale will stillrnmurder babies. Because, in the end,rnthat’s what the people want.rnHistory is indeed made by men in arnroom somewhere; but in the modern era,rnthose men have found that it’s easier torncontrol the course of events by adding onrnto the room and letting more folks inside.rnSoon—perhaps already—those of us onrnthe outside will be in the minority.rnPsst. Hey, you —the guy at the keyboard.rnYour conclusions may he right, hut yourrntheory’s all wrong. Wanna know the truthrnabout the presidential election? It wasrnall rigged from the beginning —has been,rnin fact, since at least 1988. That’s whyrnGeorge Senior was so smug in those earlyrnprimaries, and Bob Dole was so frustrated.rnHe knew he couldn’t win; wasn’t supposedrnto. And 1992? Give me a break. No sittingrnpresident could run such a bad campaignrnunless he were trying to throw thernelection.rnYou see, it was all a setup. The Skullrnand Bones know that the American peoplernare a bunch of suckers who can’t get pastrnthe appearance of a two-party system.rnWhat better way to hide the fact thatrnthey’re pulling the strings than to removernthe pachyderm puppet from the stage oncernin a while, and replace him with a jackassrnmarionette? Glinton’s not a Bonesman,rnbut he is Yale Law, so he knows the score.rnThis year, however, it was time to bring thernpresidency back home. So they crownedrnDubya almost a year before the first primaryrnand forced the only man who representedrna threat out of the GOP and into arndead-end third party. The stage was set:rnThey knewAl Gore would play along—afterrnall, he’d picked a graduate of Yale andrnYale Law as his running mate. (Surelyrnyou didn’t think Bill Buckley took such arnshine to ]oe Lieberman because of his religiousrnvalues?)rnBut then the Boners made a mistake:rnThey thought it would be fun to have arnreal horse race, but they cut it too close inrnFlorida. Tired of playing second fiddle^rnto his father, to Clinton, to Tipper, to ]oe,rnand now to some smug son of a Bonesmanrn—Al grabbed the bow and startedrncalling the dance. But he forgot onernthings Clarence Thomas. Yale Law.rn(You didn’t think George Senior nominatedrnhim just because of his race, did you?)rnThe poor sap didn’t have a chance.rnFunny thing is, it all worked out betterrnfor the Bonesmen this way. Al couldn’t letrnthe American people know just what hernwas fighting against—most of them wouldrnhave thought he was nuts. And now, allrnthose conspiracy theorists who used tornthink that Skull and Bones or the CFR orrnthe Trilateral Commission or the Rockefellersrnor the Bilderbergers might be callingrnthe shots have fallen right into line. Afterrnall, the Democrats tried to steal the election,rnand the Republicans would never dornthat, right? Next time, the Bonesmen mayrnnot even need to swap marionettes.rnAnyway, that’s the real reason those Republicansrnin Rockford were so quiet duringrnthe Florida recount: THEY KNEW.rnPass it on.rnSawrnby John Nixon, ]r.rn”For Beauty, Finish and Utility,”rnPoetically claimed its maker, “ThisrnSaw Gannot be Excelled.” Next, “Henr)- Disston”rnAnd “Philadelphia” are, after morernThan sixty years, still legible alongrnThe blade. With tiny teeth, it was the toolrnMy father used for slicing quarter-roundrnAnd other “finish” work.rnNow, when a stormrnHas littered this large yard with maple, ash,rnAnd locust limbs, both Mr. Disston andrnMy father would be horrified to watchrnMe take their venerable saw out, clearrnMy way through green debris. At least it givesrnNew life, new meaning to “Utilit}'”rnBefore I am myself sawed off, nailed down.rnMARCH 2001/37rnrnrn