ter”: next on Donahue.rnThe reports of large quantities ofrnpeanut butter in the celebrity’s basementrnprove to be false.rnAt a press conference, a former classmaternannounces that he regularly sharedrnpeanut butter sandwiches with thernSnack Czar nominee.rnDay 7. President Clinton withdraws hisrnnomination.rnHillary Clinton denies rumors ofrnpeanut futures trading; “There’s no evidence.”rnSources say the White Housernstaff is in disarray: “It’s headless-chickenrntime.”rnNBC admits that the dog in the Datelinernsegment was actually force-fed severalrnjars of peanut butter mixed withrnepoxy. The AAARG technical consultantrndefends the procedure, but a producerrnis fired anyway. Animal rightsrngroups call off their boycott. Editorialistsrncriticize the media’s mishandling of thernwhole story, which also leads the weekendrnpolitical talk shows:rn”On a scale of zero to ten, withrnzero being no harm and ten beingrnpolitical Armageddon, how damagingrnis this ‘peanut panic’ tornPresident Clinton? I ask you,rnFreddy the Beadle Barnes!”rn”A four and rising unless he killsrnthe tax idea.”rn”Eleanor!”rn”Maybe a point five, but it doesrnhelp health care reform, and thernpeanut industry might be forcedrnto clean up its act, which is good.”rn”Jack!”rn”A one. Everyone will forget itrnby November.”rn”Mort!”rn”A three. It’s another Clintonrnstumble, and he doesn’t need thatrnright now.”rn”The correct answer is two!”rnDay 14. Plummeting sales, low prices,rnand lawsuits force some peanut farmersrnand processors to declare bankruptcy.rnTons of unwanted peanut products arerndonated to African aid programs.rnDay 21. The hiation cover story: “UnclernSam’s Death Spread; The Racist Planrnto Choke the Third World.”rnDay 34. A small item in some newspapers,rnnear the back: Increased unemploymentrnin peanut-growing regions andrnhigher farm price-support payments arernprojected to cost $300 million in the currentrnfiscal year.rnDay 55. A small item in some newspapers,rnnear the back: A Justice Departmentrnspokesperson announces that therninvestigation into possible civil rights violationsrnby the peanut industry has beenrndropped for lack of evidence. VAPIDrncriticizes the decision. Sources estimaternthe investigation cost $2 million.rnDay 90. A small item in some newspapers,rnnear the back: AAARG issues a correctionrnregarding the number of deathsrnfrom eating peanut butter. The actualrnnumber for 1992, the latest year forrnwhich figures are available, is three.rn]ay Cornell writes from Berkeley,rnCalifornia.rnSPORTSrnBaseball and MaritalrnPermanencernby William R. Mattox, fi.rnThe game of baseball is centered onrnhome: pitchers throw the ball overrnhome plate, batters hit home runs, andrnfans root for the home team. Apparently,rnbaseball’s preoccupation with homernis no accident. According to a recentrnstudy by Denver psychologist HowardrnMarkham, the average divorce rate inrncities that have major league baseballrnteams is 28 percent lower than in citiesrnthat lack a major league franchise.rnMarkham says this is because baseballrninspires “communication, fun, andrnfriendship,” and though his study doesrnnot mention it, baseball does have arnrather curious record of promoting matrimony.rnOver the years, baseball promotersrnhave carried numerous “Will You MarryrnMe?” proposals on their electronic scoreboards.rnSome have hosted pregamernweddings in which couples walk “downrnthe aisle” (from the pitching mound tornhome plate) under a canopy of baseballrnbats held by players lined up on eachrnside. And in what has to rank amongrnthe all-time tackiest promotions, the AtlantarnBraves once held a “Wedlock andrnHeadlock Night,” which featured a massrnwedding ceremony before the game andrna professional wrestling match afterwards.rnAlthough Markham’s research is notrnintended to be taken seriously, it doesrnraise two intriguing questions: What regionalrndifferences exist in divorce rates?rnAnd what factors explain these differences?rnAnswering these questions shouldrnoffer some clues about how to reducernthe high divorce rate in the United Statesrntoday.rnPerhaps the easiest way to think of regionalrndifferences in divorce is to thinkrnnot of baseball but of another summerrnpastime: bathing suits. It is strange butrntrue that the divorce rate of any place inrnthe continental United States can be predictedrnby knowing the number of daysrnout of the year women there wear swimrnsuits. The more warm weather daysrnsuitable for bathing attire, the higherrnthe divorce rate. To illustrate, draw arnline across the midsection of the continentalrnUnited States (along the northernrnborder of North Carolina, Tennessee,rnArkansas, Oklahoma, New Mexico, andrnArizona, and continuing through southernrnNevada and central California).rnMore than 60 percent of the total UnitedrnStates population lives above whatrnmight be called “the tan line.” Yet lessrnthan half of all divorces occur here, andrneach of the ten states with the lowestrndivorce rates is above the tan line.rnIronically, Teddy Kennedy’s homernstate of Massachusetts is number one inrnmarital stability. Donald Trump’s NewrnYork is tied for second (and would havernfared slightly better if Donald had notrnabandoned his first wife for a formerrnwinner of the Miss Resaca Beach, Georgia,rnbathing suit contest). Conversely,rnsix of the seven states with the highestrndivorce rates are found below the tanrnline. And four of these six—^Alabama,rnArkansas, Oklahoma, and Tennessee—rnare located right in the heart of the Biblernbelt.rnThe irony here, of course, is that thernBible is hardly neutral on the subject ofrndivorce. The Old Testament prophetrnMalachi reports that God “hates divorce”;rnin the New Testament, Jesus condemnsrndivorce “for any reason exceptrnsexual immorality.” Given such teachings,rnone would expect a geographicrnJANUARY 1995/45rnrnrn